October Musings

So you might have heard all about people saying there are this many amounts of people in the world. “There are only three types: people who see the glass as half full, or half empty or only as much as it is actually full” Or, “There are only two types: people who are inherently good or those who are evil” It probably sounds like a bandwagon to join, but I do not really care. I felt like writing something after almost a year. So, bandwagons be damned, am going to write. I look at people and usually notice how their decision making process is. I have seen men who seem to stride the world they live in, purely on how impactful their decision making is. I feel that there are basically three types of people in the world, as far as their decision making goes. One, a person who takes the lead and goes for it. He doesn’t hesitate to make decisions which affect many people and is comfortable in a fast paced, dynamic environment dealing with all sorts of changes at once. There are some pros and cons to it: for one, the liability goes up exponentially. With risk, comes not only reward but also responsibility. If you are the type of person who has a thick skin, and believes in his decision making, you are well suited to be the “AGGRESSOR”. Then you have the guy who sees all the angles. He is the empathizer, the leader, and the follower all at the same time. He knows what to do, when to do, how to do and how best to do. Such people are rare, and those who strive to be like that often run into problems with trying to balance their lives. The obvious pros are you are very well liked, respected and you have a greater chance of getting things done than if you are the “AGGRESSOR”. The cons are you can be seen as manipulative, devious and selfish. While all you want is really just to make sure that everyone’s voice has been heard. Such a person is the “MEDIATOR”. And finally, you have the person who does not care for any decision making at all. Such a person, is most likely pretty chill and laid back. They let the world go on around them and go with the flow. They are not the ones voicing their opinions and being the center of attention. Personally, I have always been attracted to people like this. I am drawn to the relaxed energy they have and the general laidback nature they possess. Just like anything, there are pros and cons to this. The obvious con is these folks are seen as underachievers, lazy and oblivious to their surroundings. Generally, they are seen as very talented and full of potential. That normally leads to unbridled expectations and can be hard to deal with. The pros are aplenty. You have the perfect nature to be relaxed, chill and have the most fun. You are devoid of responsibility because you let others take care of that, but you still get to voice your opinion. For all I know, this is the most ideal state to be in. Such folks, I term as the “LANGUID” folks. The cons are that you are most likely going to let the bad decisions taken by “AGGRESSORS” to impact you negatively and not be in control of your own destiny.

Darkness and Light

Is there one solution to all our problems? Is there something which can show us light when there is nothing but a vast hollow of darkness and despair? Is there one source of misery? Is there one thing which is common across the human race? 

I feel one thing which is common across the world is that we tend to manufacture a world of our own. It is a cocoon of happiness and misery, but it is OUR own. For some, this cocoon is very limited. My family, my friends, my work, my health and my wealth. Beyond that, the world does not exist. Some people do not understand how one can live without 'basic' needs like electricity, clean water, food, cell phones and television. Some people, on the other hand, do not understand how one can be unhappy after having a roof on top of their heads, enough food to survive and warm clothes to survive the winter. 

This difference in perception is not defined by race, religion, nation, or wealth. This difference would exist no matter who you are, where you are from, what color your skin is, or what you do for a living. The question is, how big is your cocoon? The difference in perception would decrease as your cocoon increases in size. We sometimes vouch for our open mindedness. But, at one sight of something beyond what we consider normal, we get scared and run for the shelter of our cocoon. Put me in a place where people roast dogs and eat them, and I would shriek and say, 'this is weird; how can anyone do this?' Put me back in my comfort zone where people eat chicken and beef, and I would say, 'yum! can I have some?' What is this? The moment I am in a place beyond my cocoon, I act like fish out of water. What is weirdness? Is it not just ANY thing which you have not experienced or think is normal?

So is this difference in perception a problem? For the most part, I think it is. For centuries, humans have been fighting among each other. From the Battle of Megiddo (15th Century BC) to the War in Afghanistan (present), it has been a long, long time. I feel that the difference in perception played a large role in all wars. I feel that this is not just limited to wars but also accounts to many of our day-to-day problems. 

So what is the solution? Can the difference be reduced by going out and exploring the world as much as we can? One would think so, but this is almost impossible. We can only explore so much in one life. Another solution (less expensive) is to try and forget your self. Almost magically, when you can figure out how to stop thinking just about yourself, the world seems like a better place. You find peace and the cocoon expands to encapsulate the world as we know it. It is extremely tough to be able to do that, almost impossible, but even a tiny step towards achieving that state is tremendously rewarding.

Love

Romantic love was a notion which I scoffed at for a long time. Too many fights, too much pain, and too many broken phones later, love was the new dirty four letter word. I remained curious though, what did it mean? I knew that it is an abstract feeling, and logic never seemed to play any part (at least in my case).

Well now I know what it is not. The greatest trick with this magic concept of love is that you can never say what it is. However, you can say what it is not, and thus define it. Swami Vivekananda showed me the way, and honestly, for a celibate man, he sure nailed it.

True love, he says, will never cause pain. A deceptively simple statement, but it hits the nail on its head. I will be paraphrasing most of what I write below (I am an original and I like to give original thoughts due credit) but the content has the potential to change the way you think, so I would advise you keep reading.

True love has its foundations in another big word, freedom. What is freedom? We need to answer that before we tackle love. I have heard this a lot before: I need my space and freedom, my boyfriend/girlfriend is stifling me. Well, if an individual is capable of stifling your freedom, then, my friend you need to take a step back and think. Freedom does not mean being tied down to the whims and affections of any person. Freedom is inside of you. And it is addictive. When you truly understand freedom, you will be free.

Coming back to love now that we have some idea about freedom, true love is not possible without freedom. So, if I truly love a person my mind needs to be operating at a level which does not get affected by his/her whims. Don't love to own a person. Don't love to demand. Don't love to be someone you are not. Don't love to prove a point. Don't confuse love with lust.

Love for love's sake. There is always a sanity check: if your relationship is causing you pain, it is not love. If you are upset that your partner is not doing something which you want (even if it is for his or her good) you are a slave to his affections. What you are experiencing is simply a morbid affection for the slave, insinuating itself in the form of love.


True love will never cause pain.

Give us raw emotion, stripped of commercialisation

As I watched Sourav Ganguly’s instinctual celebrations after he had cleaned up Kevin Pietersen on Saturday, I realised for the first time I was paying the game my full, undivided attention. I was fascinated to see whether Dada would be able to conjure up another win for his team, the blue shades of Pune Warriors’ kit reminiscent of the colours of the national team he had led not too many summers ago. Not the cheerleaders, not the frills, but pure cricketing emotion, stripped naked of all commercialisation, caught my attention. Is this what the IPL needs to be relevant ten years from now?
As ratings for the mega-extravaganza continue to dip, it doesn't need Twenty20 mercenaries showing up for the various franchises. It doesn't need Navjot Sidhu's poetry coupled with the on-cue gyrations of cheerleaders in the pre-match show studio. What the IPL needs is that raw emotion, like that showcased by Ganguly in Delhi. And this is something that can't be bought at an auction.
Earlier, there might have been a connect people felt with the teams. People tuned in to watch Kolkata Knight Riders v Mumbai Indians because they wanted to see Ganguly and Sachin Tendulkar battling it out against each other. People might do the same now, for a Pune Warriors v Rajasthan Royals game. But the IPL cannot lean on familiarity anymore in order to survive. We are not likely to see Ganguly or Rahul Dravid here next year. Tendulkar might carry on for another year. VVS Laxman and Anil Kumble are already gone.

To have a chance of surviving in the absence of these cricketing icons, the IPL needs characters who have a spark in them, who compete as if it there is no tomorrow. Manchester United has millions of fans all over the world, not because it is a rich club. It is because when the team plays, there is an unbridled passion that just spills over. They keep reinventing smartly, bringing in players who might not be the most talented in the world but, when they are playing together, they are like a pack of lions.
The crowds that throng into the stadiums in thousands, the TV viewers who tune in in millions are not drawn to wealth. They are mostly the middle class who slog all week, not prima donnas looking for obscene displays of riches when they watch a cricket match. What they need are moments like what Ganguly produced that night against Delhi Daredevils.
So what is it the current lot of teams to do to stay in business? First, separate the owners from the cricket team. Let the cricketers do what they do best without being continuously reminded of who 'owns' them. Shah Rukh Khan, with all due respect, should not be what Kolkata Knight Riders stands for. Similarly, the Ambanis should not define Mumbai Indians. The IPL owners might genuinely be interested in cricket, but they have to treat it as a business and steer clear from the limelight.
Second, the teams should stand for something specific, and they need to buy players accordingly – they need to create brand recognition, if you will. Case in point: Daredevils have a battery of fast bowlers capable of holding their own against international batting line-ups. They have to make sure their image remains the same for the seasons that follow. They also have to select players and advertise accordingly. Similarly, Rajasthan Royals have consistently turned out teams of limited talent but unlimited grit, and need to maintain this identity. Constant reshuffling without a common thread turns viewers off and decreases market value of the team. Every IPL team needs to employ scouts who scour the country players who ‘fit the team’ instead of just buying players who are the flavour of the season – Mumbai Indians’ procurement of Richard Levi comes to mind.
I am not a cynic and I wish the IPL well. It is not an original idea (as Lalit Modi would have everyone believe) but it is a good one. It has the potential to expand the game of cricket across the globe. There is a market for cricket, especially Twenty20s, and the possibilities are endless. However, the owners need to take it upon themselves to be smart and plan smart. If they can do that, the game will be better off and, yes, they could be rich beyond their dreams. Just ask Malcolm Glazer. Malcolm who? Malcolm, the owner of Manchester United FC, the most popular football club in the world.

Venom

I hate your fuckin soul, more than I hate myself.
My dark heart full of disdain,
Smokin away the pain,
Raging like a monster chained to itself.

I am shattered, the torture is overwhelming.
This is no drama,
What I felt was infinite trauma,
My hands are cut, oh god stop this suffering.

Villainy, be my only companion.
Rife with malcontent is this mind,
I swear I will kill anyone unkind,
The Satan will be my only scion.

I am nothing, but that is today.
There is so much strife.
In the end your throat will feel my knife.
Till then, let the monster sleep another day.

....Wash dishes and still smile....

I fear stagnation. I cannot imagine a lifetime slipping by without change. Good changes, preferrably life changing ones. The thing with good changes is, you can identify them but it's much harder to put it in practice. This is where I feel habit is such a wonderful thing. Especially for people like me who are restless all the time. Habits help me implement the changes I identify. It really is like mathematical induction. Identify, repeat, repeat some more, and there you go, 2-3 weeks later it becomes like reflex, kind of like a theorem which can be proved.
Believe it or not, I realized this while washing dishes. I doubt there are many people who enjoy this activity. It might well be one of the major causes of couples arguing and fighting. I have identified two emotions which make washing dishes not enjoyable. Pride and Sloth. Sometimes, people are too proud to do it and other times they are too lazy. Questions are raised: "Why can't she do it? I don't have time. There are other things I need to worry about."
That, my friend, is bullcrap. You are too proud. Other times it goes like this: "I want to get to it. But my sinus is acting up. I will get to it tomorrow, for sure." Guess what, that's bullcrap again. You are just too lazy for your own good. You could ignore the truth or accept it but it is what it is. On top of that, I am also the SME on dishwashing.
We can really expand this concept to many things. Pride and Sloth hurt us so many times. Time and again, we fight and get angry, smash windows, become indifferent and well, stagnate. I do not want to stagnate. Hence, identify, repeat, and repeat some more, voila! You might end up becoming calmer and really happy. Because once we know, once we can make sense, it is easy.
Mathemtical induction, thanks.

A morning to remember

Scene 1 :

The turbulent winds roared angrily at the world. Water had frozen into small puddles of frosty ice. The sky was hazy and clouds seemed to be losing the battle with the rampant wind, scurrying for cover.It was seven in the morning and the small town of Cornelia in Georgia was witnessing one of its coldest mornings.

The downside was I needed to walk half a mile to my office. Now, don't get me wrong, half a mile is not a lot, and I am not pretending to make this a big deal, but hey, I was in the danger of being blown away much farther than half a mile.

I had two options: call or fold. I have this tendency to deal with life situations as if it were a poker bet. Calling here would mean walking the half mile and folding would mean calling the guy. Now I was feeling adventurous. Biggest mistake of my life. You know what I did, so let's cut to the walk.


Scene 2:

There was one more thing. My brother left his hairspray at my place. Of course, I needed to try that out. Bad idea again ( This meant I did not cover my head ). As I started walking, I realized I was not feeling cold.I was on fire. Cold, icy winds blasted on my face with no mercy and my glasses ( along with my eyes ) started to water.

It was a weird time to be philosophical, but then philosophy itself is weird at so many levels. The optimist inside me kicked up and for once, the conditions did not matter. I had a great family, a decent job and awesome friends to hang out with.
I looked at the entourage of cars zooming by and noticed that all the people looked at me with a sense of bewilderment. I don't blame them, a guy wearing a business suit and gelled up hair walking in the cold makes for an interesting viewing.

Halfway down the road, something funny happened to my ears.


Scene 3:

It began with an eerie hollowness enveloping my generously wide ear canals. But the end was near, I had almost made it. Somehow, wishful thinking was no longer as soothing as before. I hastened my pace and undoubtedly looked more peculiar. Only this time, my brain was too busy processing the inordinate pain to care.
And then, when I was almost at the cusp of howling out my miserable state to all and sundry, the marathon ended. I made it to the safety of my office. The hollowness of my ear canals phased out into something warm.

Peace had come to earth. Or so I thought. Suddenly, my friend barged in and exclaimed " Howdy, Howdy, how are ya doin ? " My face had three vertical columns of thin ice swiftly melting into water and I was flushing red.
His radiating countenance transformed into an admonishing stare and out came the words which were secretly tormenting me the whole walk : " Why didn't you give me a call? "


All in all, a very interesting start to my week.