Romantic love was a notion which I scoffed at for a long time. Too many fights, too much pain, and too many broken phones later, love was the new dirty four letter word. I remained curious though, what did it mean? I knew that it is an abstract feeling, and logic never seemed to play any part (at least in my case).
Well now I know what it is not. The greatest trick with this magic concept of love is that you can never say what it is. However, you can say what it is not, and thus define it. Swami Vivekananda showed me the way, and honestly, for a celibate man, he sure nailed it.
True love, he says, will never cause pain. A deceptively simple statement, but it hits the nail on its head. I will be paraphrasing most of what I write below (I am an original and I like to give original thoughts due credit) but the content has the potential to change the way you think, so I would advise you keep reading.
True love has its foundations in another big word, freedom. What is freedom? We need to answer that before we tackle love. I have heard this a lot before: I need my space and freedom, my boyfriend/girlfriend is stifling me. Well, if an individual is capable of stifling your freedom, then, my friend you need to take a step back and think. Freedom does not mean being tied down to the whims and affections of any person. Freedom is inside of you. And it is addictive. When you truly understand freedom, you will be free.
Coming back to love now that we have some idea about freedom, true love is not possible without freedom. So, if I truly love a person my mind needs to be operating at a level which does not get affected by his/her whims. Don't love to own a person. Don't love to demand. Don't love to be someone you are not. Don't love to prove a point. Don't confuse love with lust.
Love for love's sake. There is always a sanity check: if your relationship is causing you pain, it is not love. If you are upset that your partner is not doing something which you want (even if it is for his or her good) you are a slave to his affections. What you are experiencing is simply a morbid affection for the slave, insinuating itself in the form of love.
True love will never cause pain.
Well now I know what it is not. The greatest trick with this magic concept of love is that you can never say what it is. However, you can say what it is not, and thus define it. Swami Vivekananda showed me the way, and honestly, for a celibate man, he sure nailed it.
True love, he says, will never cause pain. A deceptively simple statement, but it hits the nail on its head. I will be paraphrasing most of what I write below (I am an original and I like to give original thoughts due credit) but the content has the potential to change the way you think, so I would advise you keep reading.
True love has its foundations in another big word, freedom. What is freedom? We need to answer that before we tackle love. I have heard this a lot before: I need my space and freedom, my boyfriend/girlfriend is stifling me. Well, if an individual is capable of stifling your freedom, then, my friend you need to take a step back and think. Freedom does not mean being tied down to the whims and affections of any person. Freedom is inside of you. And it is addictive. When you truly understand freedom, you will be free.
Coming back to love now that we have some idea about freedom, true love is not possible without freedom. So, if I truly love a person my mind needs to be operating at a level which does not get affected by his/her whims. Don't love to own a person. Don't love to demand. Don't love to be someone you are not. Don't love to prove a point. Don't confuse love with lust.
Love for love's sake. There is always a sanity check: if your relationship is causing you pain, it is not love. If you are upset that your partner is not doing something which you want (even if it is for his or her good) you are a slave to his affections. What you are experiencing is simply a morbid affection for the slave, insinuating itself in the form of love.
True love will never cause pain.
