Venom

I hate your fuckin soul, more than I hate myself.
My dark heart full of disdain,
Smokin away the pain,
Raging like a monster chained to itself.

I am shattered, the torture is overwhelming.
This is no drama,
What I felt was infinite trauma,
My hands are cut, oh god stop this suffering.

Villainy, be my only companion.
Rife with malcontent is this mind,
I swear I will kill anyone unkind,
The Satan will be my only scion.

I am nothing, but that is today.
There is so much strife.
In the end your throat will feel my knife.
Till then, let the monster sleep another day.

....Wash dishes and still smile....

I fear stagnation. I cannot imagine a lifetime slipping by without change. Good changes, preferrably life changing ones. The thing with good changes is, you can identify them but it's much harder to put it in practice. This is where I feel habit is such a wonderful thing. Especially for people like me who are restless all the time. Habits help me implement the changes I identify. It really is like mathematical induction. Identify, repeat, repeat some more, and there you go, 2-3 weeks later it becomes like reflex, kind of like a theorem which can be proved.
Believe it or not, I realized this while washing dishes. I doubt there are many people who enjoy this activity. It might well be one of the major causes of couples arguing and fighting. I have identified two emotions which make washing dishes not enjoyable. Pride and Sloth. Sometimes, people are too proud to do it and other times they are too lazy. Questions are raised: "Why can't she do it? I don't have time. There are other things I need to worry about."
That, my friend, is bullcrap. You are too proud. Other times it goes like this: "I want to get to it. But my sinus is acting up. I will get to it tomorrow, for sure." Guess what, that's bullcrap again. You are just too lazy for your own good. You could ignore the truth or accept it but it is what it is. On top of that, I am also the SME on dishwashing.
We can really expand this concept to many things. Pride and Sloth hurt us so many times. Time and again, we fight and get angry, smash windows, become indifferent and well, stagnate. I do not want to stagnate. Hence, identify, repeat, and repeat some more, voila! You might end up becoming calmer and really happy. Because once we know, once we can make sense, it is easy.
Mathemtical induction, thanks.